Sex: What’s that all about?

I'm not sure how accurate this portrayal of Neanderthal woman is.

Sex is still viewed as a taboo subject, not something one talks about in polite society. Mention sex in company and quite often you will find yourself judged quite harshly. But why? It’s the 21st century. People have been having sex since…well, since before there were people! Many people would admit to actually quite enjoying sex and often spend a considerable amount of time, money and effort actively seeking someone to have sex with. Our society tries to hide sex away, censoring television, film, adverts, images, websites and so on. And now, it seems, PayPal are forcing censorship on authors. How? Well, PayPal, the largest online payment processor, have told publishers that if they publish erotic or adult material then they will no longer be able to use PayPal’s services. This would be devastating to these publishers, so they really have no choice but to cave in to PayPal’s demands.

Is censorship right? Is it ok? Well, I think we can all agree that hardcore pornography is not appropriate for, say, primary school assemblies. There has to be a limit to what can be viewed by children, but surely adults can decide for themselves what they watch, read or even engage in. If a couple of adults want to watch porn together, who has the right to prevent them from doing so?

Sex is great. I love it. I’m sure I’m not alone in that regard. In my opinion, anything that I choose to do with another consenting adult should be legal. If someone wants to have sex with a member of the same gender as them, fine. If someone wants to have sex with half a dozen people of mixed genders, fine. If someone wants to be chained to a bed of nails, while being asphyxiated by a twenty stone transvestite in a latex catsuit, fine. It is none of my damn business. It’s also none of your business. It therefore follows that it’s certainly none of PayPal’s business, or the church’s business, or the business of government, or pressure groups, or random tight-arsed prudes.

This ***** is ******** by the ***

What is important is our attitude to sex as individuals and as a society. At the moment, the taboo on anything sexual reinforces the view that sex is somehow dirty (“Only if it’s done right” according to Woody Allen, although I’m not sure he’s the best person to talk to about it). It is invariably taught in schools as inextricably linked to teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. This turns it into something dangerous and dirty, ironically making it more attractive to teenagers but still colouring their perceptions of it. This perception carries over into our adult lives, reinforcing the taboo. And we accept it. We tacitly agree that this beautiful, caring, sensuous act is something that we should be ashamed of. Watch this: It explains it far better than I could.

Does watching or reading pornographic material make you into a bad person? Does it make you more likely to go out and engage in rape, sexual assaults, sex crimes? No. Of course it doesn’t. Watching porn doesn’t turn you into a rapist in the same way that watching Bruce Lee movies doesn’t turn you into a martial artist. If you rape or sexually assault someone, it is because you are a bastard who wants to hurt, dehumanize, physically¬†and psychologically damage another human being. Porn had nothing to do with it and anyone who suggests otherwise is probably a defense lawyer.

Yes. It's a picture of a big black cock. Sorry.

There have been many studies that have tried to examine the link between pornography and sex crimes. Most of these are inconclusive as they have to point out that correlation is not the same thing as causation. In other words, just because there are apparent links between the two things, one has not necessarily caused the other. In most of these studies, it has been found that sex crimes tend to decrease after the decriminalization or legalisation of hardcore pornography. They suggest that a relaxed and open attitude towards sex is a healthy one for a society to take. Any rises in the sex crime figures are often explained by an increase in victims coming forward to report them, rather than an increase in the crimes themselves. Because individuals are more comfortable with sex, they are more understanding of the boundaries and are therefore more confident in coming forward when their boundaries have been violated.

If you do not like something that you see or read, then don’t look at it or read it. It really is that simple. If you do not expose yourself to pornography, you cannot be offended by it. We should all have the freedom to access whatever we want to, as long as it involves consenting adults. You also have the right to indulge in any sexual activity that you choose, as well as the freedom to say ‘No, I don’t want to do that’. Exercise these freedoms. Enjoy them. Demand them.

"It's all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy." D.H. Lawrence